wee-tah-kah-wee-loo. wee-tee-kah-wah-tee. u-nye-loo-lay-doo? Now, if you’re a parent to a child born anytime from the 80’s onwards or even a child of the 80’s or 90’s you will recognise that jibberish at the beginning. It is indeed Fubish, the language of the Furbies. I was a young and innocent 14 year old when Furbies first hit the shelves of Toys R Us. I loved mine and it’s still one of my most remembered childhood toys. This Christmas I was able to rekindle that love when my son decided he wanted his own so here is my Furby Connect review.
I hate Lego, I’m sorry but I do! I never liked it much as a kid and I like it even less as a parent. For me it’s too tiny, too fiddle and it friggin hurts when you step on it. Unfortunately for me my husband loves it and Eban, when he gets going enjoys it. Recently when I asked him why he doesn’t play with it all that much his response is that he wants to play with it in the living room but doesn’t like having to clear it all up afterwards. I mean, I have to agree with him as it can take longer to clear away than you actually spend playing with it. That’s when I went on a hunt for a toy storage bag.
I don’t know about you but my child things that money grows on trees. Everyday it’s “Can I have this” or “Can I have that”; each and every time the newest Pokemon game is released for his DS or he see’s an app for his tablet. Trying to tell a child that they need to save up for the things they want isn’t always easy, I know a few days after the “I thought you we’re saving for xyz” we’re having the conversation again. For Eban he needs to see that he is saving and how well he is doing which is when I discovered goHenry.
I know as a young girl and a teenager I had a very specific future set out, even down to the age I’d get married and have kids – I actually got married when I’d always planned to and my son came along a month earlier, so I didn’t do too bad. I had always wanted two children, a boy then a girl, or three if my first two turned out to be the same sex; if I got three the same then hey-ho I had three the same. The only thing I didn’t plan on was my own body and my lack of desire for more than one, here’s why we decided to have only one child.
My husband and I got together pretty young, he was 18 and I was 21, but we knew we were perfect for each other after the first time we met. If you don’t know much about us then we moved in together after two weeks (not planned) and got engaged after three months. While we were starting to make plans about a wedding we also threw the topic of having a child into the mix and after a year of being together we decided to start trying. We both have a similar mindset in that, unlike all our friends, we wanted to have a family young so we could travel the world when they had grown and we were more stable financially (own house, careers etc).
We set about trying to start our family, we researched, ate better etc but it still took 22 heartbreaking months to fall pregnant. We had started fertility tests to find out what might be causing the problem but a month after we got married and a few weeks before we were due to get the test results, a positive pregnancy test appeared in my hand. My pregnancy was almost perfect, I had little to no problems besides gestational diabetes but I was able to control that with diet – it did mean I was induced slightly earlier than my due date.
As well as a perfect pregnancy, I had a perfect birth and Eban was a practically perfect baby; the only problems he had were that he didn’t want to breast feed and he then needed to be on prescription formula but nothing major. To this day he’s a pretty laid back child, so polite and a joy to be around…most of the time anyway.
So with this perfect first child you’d expect me to be jumping for joy and wanting to expand my family, and I sort of did. When Eban was 11 months old I came off the pill in the hope we’d try again for another. This time though we were very up and down, we did want another then we didn’t, then we didn’t want Eban to be an only child then we didn’t think he’d mind. My husband took a new job which meant a drop in wages so we did the sensible thing and put a hold on trying for a short while, then we weren’t trying but not not trying. When I turned 29 we decided to go for it, seek medical help (we drew a line at IVF etc) but said that once I’m 30 that that was it for trying because we both had a future plan that didn’t include a young child at home – selfish? You might think so but we didn’t.
Before I hit 30 I’d already decided I that I no longer wanted a second child. Why? Eban was a happy, healthy and independent child and I liked that. I’d decided that I didn’t want to go back to waking three or four times in the night. I didn’t want to be at the beck and call of another human 24/7 for another four or five years. Also, what if something went wrong? What if I died? What if there was something seriously wrong with our second child that would put a halt to everything we’ve been planning for the future? Would it be fair denying Eban holidays of a lifetime, the best we could offer now just to have another child? Having to share our love with another child – I honestly didn’t think it was worth it, and neither did Aaron.
Did you know that when you Google “Is it selfish” that the first result is “Is it selfish to have only one child?”.
I’ve spoken to a few other friends who only have one child and it upsets them when people start asking when they’re going to have another, and the comments they get when they say they’re only having one. Why is there such a stigma to only having one child?
I understand that in the past there was a good reason – have a child to replace each parent, it made sense but now on a planet vastly over populated and heavily under resourced there is no need to continue this trend. I have many friends who have three, four, five…even seven children, if that’s their choice and they can look after them then kudos to them but why do I need to have another when I have friends who make up the numbers for me (haha).
We can easily afford another child, or two, but it would mean sacrificing what we do have now. Going to the cinema and having a three course meal in our favourite restaurant is nothing but if there was another child in the mix that wouldn’t happen as often. Double the birthday presents, double the Christmas presents, double the school uniforms, school trips, clothes, birthday parties…the list goes on. I don’t want a life of struggle.
Earlier this year we sealed the no more children door completely when the husband went to have a vasectomy – yes, at 28 the doctor was happy to give him one because she could see that we knew what we wanted, almost 5 years of “trying” for a second one and the terrible things that hormonal contraception does to me meant this was the best option for us.
At the end of the day, everyone will do what is best for their family and their lives. If they want a huge family then so be it, people don’t tend to bat an eyelid (unless they’re only doing it for the extra benefits). For me, and my family, having just the one child is just what we want – he has cousins and friends all around him so he’s never lonely. I don’t think this is selfish, I think it’s better for the planet, better for my sanity and helps us achieve the life we want to give ourselves, including our son.
Do you have an only child? If so, what stupid questions have you been faced with?